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Articles by me: Of Victims, Persecutors and Rescuers ; To Should or Not to Should; and Transsexual |
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I am writing to you from Lismore, on the North Coast of NSW, Australia. Its paradise in many ways. I live only 10 minutes drive from town, amongst lots of trees and surrounded by small farms.
This is about me, so I will tell you about two dimensions of who I am.
Firstly, the upbeat side:
I am the kind of person who can get much enthused. I dig teaching - currently Gestalt Therapy, and Career Development (see links at end of this piece). The former through a training centre I set up: The Northern Rivers Gestalt Institute, the latter through private sessions. I've got it so that in 3 hours with someone I can help them find their perfect career - what a buzz!
I love doing therapy. I have a small private practice, mainly using Gestalt and some family therapy, with influences of Erickson, and Michael White / Narrative Therapy. Sometimes people ask me, don't you get tired sitting there all day. I say, no, I get energised after a days work because people come to me feeling stuck, and they generally leave feeling empowered - so there's a great sense of energy moving. And that's a privilege to be a part of.
I am also a Family Constellation facilitator - very inspired by the work and teachings of Bert Hellinger. See for instance the Australian site. This is a powerful and subtle way of working with inter-generational issues. I am currently working on using this approach with Aboriginal communities.
I am co-owner with my wife of a cafe in Lismore – Sweetpea its called. Vegetarian food, internet, and fresh Gelato daily. Its an adventure which is calling forth everything we have. Its hard work. Its a great place to hang out. We are learning a great deal, and its a lot more work than we thought!
I am a parent. Its hard work and lots of learning, and sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't. Having passed through the teen years with most of my kids I am a more sober person - its quite a test! I have three children: Kavita (23), Giitika (19) and Dhyanesh (16). The oldest two girls and the youngest a boy. Their names are sanskrit and mean, respectively: A poet who gives others inspiration; One whose constant song is for God; The spirit of meditation. Giitika and Dhyanesh play soccer, Kavita is studying Interior Design. Kavita is studying sports psychology, and Giitika doing a double degree in arts (she is a talented photographer) and business.
Then there are my step daughters, Azzmin and Zeeanna. Azzie is 21, Zee is 19. Both are highly creative. Azz likes to dance and draw and paint, and at the moment is learning to manage our cafe. Zee has a quirky sense of humour and strong ideas about what she wants; she is fantastic at crafts and has amazing attention to detail. She is interested in the complexity of life and ideas.
And then there is my life partner, Sumana. We hang out, adventure through the joys and travails of daily life together. She has worked with young children, has trained in psychotherapy, and is moving towards her own private practice. She shares my interest in psychotherapy, social justice, and spirituality. She is managing our cafe at present.
A few photos:
Spirituality is central for me. Oh, but I'm not some nut doing weird practices. Well, they don't seem weird to me. I became interested in meditation at a tender age, 36 years ago, and every year it just gets better and better. My life feels blessed, and I have found so much benefit I could never imagine wanting to stop. The essence of my path is a balance of internal and external: Self Realisation, and Service to the universe. Sounds rather grand, but it gives my life a focus, a sense of purpose, and hey, you've got to have something to keep you going. I have been a one-teacher kind of guy, though I know eclecticism is pretty fashionable these days. My inspiration has been Shrii Shrii Anandamurti, founder of Ananda Marga. Some people in Australia turn up their nose at this because Ananda Marga has got some bad press, but that ís ignorance combined with some political persecution. A whole other story. You can check out Ananda Marga related links below.
I travel a fair bit, teaching a workshop on spirituality and psychotherapy I have developed - I look at the differences and similarities. I teach in the US, Mexico, and Europe, so if you are interested in finding out more, let me know.
So back to me. I love doing theatre, music. In my 20's I did lots of political street theatre, studied clowning with Kenja, and participated in some large scale performances south of Sydney (Wattomala, a natural amphitheatre consisting of a beach, lagoon and cliffs). Now I occasionally play cello with my friend Seagull, who plays celtic harp. Sometimes I tinkle on the piano, and am very pleased to have written my first song recently. I also like design work. I love sitting at my Mac and designing posters for my workshops. This page is nowhere near as zoopy as I would like because I am new at web page design.
I am very interested in social change work, and have been happy to plug into the local Heart Politics conferences which happen here every year. People working for change in their own ways, valiantly, sometimes noisily, sometimes quietly. Originally inspired by Fran Pearvey and her book of the same name (well worth a read); do have a look at her article on strategic questioning. In terms of social change, I am inspired by PROUT (PROgressive Utilisation Theory), which is surprisingly unknown, considering it is probably the most comprehensive and viable alternative to communism and capitalism. Do check it out if you are interested. There is the official home page, and then the information I have placed on my page.
I'll tell you something else about me that you might find weird. But its sort of happened to me. And its not the kind of thing that people would necessarily feel comfortable talking about. But I figure, well, I can't help it, so why not be honest. You will never guess, so I'll tell you: my father is a transsexual. He came out at the ripe age of 62 or so. What a surprise. Had the op and all. I can't say I feel particularly delighted by the whole thing, but its certainly something I have to deal with, and hopefully learn something from. If you are interested, I have written about it at the Australian Humanities Review.
What else can I tell you. I am fascinated by systems thinking, systems practice. I love doing organisation development work, I enjoy the way general systems theory challenges so much of the way the world thinks, and I am fascinated by the numerous applications in therapy, and social change work. There is an article by Herb Kopolwitz that really grabbed me many years ago, which I have put here for your interest - well worth reading.
As you might have guessed by now, I also love networking. I like connecting up people, ideas, experience. I do that a lot, and for that reason really like what the web has to offer in this regard.
I haven't said anything about the community which is close to my heart. It is called Ananda Rainjana, 'the place that colours the mind with bliss'. Its fairly close to Lismore, a big block of land (260 acres), but not many people there, as yet. A few families, and a dedicated meditation teacher. Some horses, livestock, plans to develop it permaculturally. However, I see it as a long term project. I was interested to start it both so it could offer spiritual support to people - workshops, retreats, regular group meditation (which we have); and also to create a space for both progressive farming as well as other projects which could in some way benefit the community and make a difference in the world. So, I know that when the time is right, the people will appear who want to use this beautiful setting, and pour their energy into something they are passionate about, and will touch others. Already it is attracting people for the spiritual inspiration and events which are offered regularly.
Oh yeah. My other name. Steve Gunther was given to me at birth. Doesn't sound very Jewish, but then my parents eschewed everything Jewish when they migrated to Australia from Los Angeles. So my other name, given to me soon after I learned meditation, is Vinay. As a teenager at the time I expected some dashing name that would means something like Brave Warriorspirit. I was rather miffed at the meaning of my new name: Modesty. It seemed, well, wimpy. However, I have come to appreciate over the years the deep significance of that name for me ; as someone who gets deeply involved in a lot of things - and I guess I shine because of that - the reminder of humility is something I value more and more. I have tended to trip in places where my great confidence has led myself or others (because I like leadership) into places which sometimes looked sticky, sometimes a total mess. Anyway, I like the name Vinay, my friends call me that. But it doesn't quite have the right ring for the business card or advertising for clients. There are too many kooks in this area. Its a bit strange having two names, but people have done stranger things.
I enjoy writing poetry. I am a dedicated aficionado of the regular Stand Up Poets nights in Lismore; monthly readings where up to 20 local poets get up and share their latest pieces. I think poetry is meant to be spoken - it really comes alive. And I know its kind of indulgent to put a page of mine here - I usually skip the poems that occasionally get sprinkled in certain newsletters I get. However, this is my home page, and you might want to check out a few of my pieces .
And I like listening to music. The exquisite Mary Black. Classical, particularly Bach's mass in B minor, and Brahms' sonatas for piano and cello (and particularly when they are played by that wonderful Russian, Janos Starker). I like Tuck and Patti. And Holly Near is a long time idol. And my latent Jewish blood boils when I hear any kind of Klezma. And lots more.
At the top you will have seen the link to my book/website. I wrote this book over a period of about 8 years. I really enjoyed the writing process, it just kind of jumped out of my fingers onto the keyboard - the distilled wisdom I have gained so far about relationship. Far from finished, and I am sure in another 10 years I will would write a different kind of a book about relationships. But this is my understanding and learning to date. I wrote it for men, but mostly women seem to buy and read it. It is published in Mexico, and now in Australia.The new Australian edition is called Understanding The Woman In Your Life.
And the other side?
My enthusiasm has also been my downfall - biting off more than I can really chew, taking on too many great projects, filling my time until there is nothing left. I have achieved a great deal, and its cost me a great deal. I used to focus on the expansive achievement; now I am paying more attention to the personal and interpersonal costs. This is a sobering process and I am learning to be more cautious about my spontaneous excitement. I can vision up a new project in minutes, but miss a lot of detail that the manifestation actually requires.
My talents are many and have meant that I have played too many roles. This is very useful at startup, but I have been doing the work of 3 or 4 people for too many years, and that takes it toll of course. I am learning about delegation, and about limits - I resist that!
I have written a book about understanding women, and it's a pretty good book. And I have come to realise firstly that its impossible to really understand a woman; and that the real understanding derives from understanding myself better. Boy, after 25 years of psychotherapy and more of spiritual practice, I thought I knew myself. But recently I have come to see that this knowledge only went so deep, and there is much more of me that lay in the shadow of my understanding. As I have become more willing to look into those shadows my self image has changed quite dramatically. For every caring act, I can see my selfish motivation; for every act of generosity, I can see my counting the cost somewhere. This has been a sobering realisation, but important in grounding myself more in the reality of who I am.
I have appreciated the value of support, and learned to draw on that more in hard times. I am coming to see life in less rosy terms, which is a good thing for me. I am learning the value of true groundedness. And, of the meaning of my name Vinay: humility.
Well that's all for today folks, follow the links for other directions of interest.
My links...
Take me to Systems
Thinking and Beyond
Take me to Strategic
Questioning
Take me to Poetry
Take me to Understanding
The Woman In Your Life
Take me to Victims,
Persecutors and Rescuers
Take me to To
Should or Not to Should
TakeTake me to Transexual
Take me to Northern
Rivers Gestalt Institute
Take me to PROUT-my
unnofficial page
-- PROUT- homepage of this
amazing alternative to communism and capitalism. You can also check out this
site for information on Prout.
This is the link to a Prout education site I helped set up. You can study an accredited program through the page.
-- Ananda Marga - find out what its acutally about: Here
-- P.R. Sarkar's Contribution to Tantra - get the real lowdown on Tantra
-- Ananda Marga River School, Maleny - a great school based on neo-humanist education
-- The Ananda Marga Universal Relief Team - disaster relief and community development, also look here
-- Global Times - a progressive newspaper
Acknowledgements: Thanks to my wonderful Auntie Shirley, who is like fairy godmother to me, friend and support over the years. Gratitude always to my teacher, my inspiration and guide, Shrii Shrii Anandamurti. Dada Dharmavedananda for his silent blessing over the years; and Bhadreshvarananda, rest his soul wherever he is. Bhavanii for her support and love over the years. My dear kids. My Gestalt mentors, past and present, including Jorge Rosner, Eileen Wright, and Chris Campbell. Friends such as Kerry. And last but certainly not least, my wife Sumana.
Contact me at: chief@gestalt.org.au
Page last updated: 25/11/08
url: http://www.gestalt.org.au/vinay
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